What Became Known as the Early Years

I was single.
Perhaps, the changing of this fact is what has been so uppity about life.
But I don't think so.
No, I don't.

My temporary tattoo of High School Musical's star Zach Efron keeps getting stuck to the laptop and then peeled off bit by bit when I lift up my arm.
Not fun.
But then again, having Troy's face on my forearm is no day at the beach.

Gosh.
Sometimes I just don't have anything to blog about.
Just happiness.

Thank the Lord.
-Emily

Can anyone say
"Emily loves writing, loves Governor's School, loves, loves, loves."???
Happiness.
Auditions were amazing.
And it was the lady in red that did it for me.
She was the cherry on top of a superacrazy day.
: )
<3 you.
You look fantastic.
Kisses to Caroline and all of anyone who has auditioned for Academy.

breathe when your heart is broken
take each step hoping you'll go numb
fearing that if you do
you'll forget
forget
that it hurts to remember

So. I'm talking to Nicholas about college.
And he's all crazy psyched about A&M. (Texas A&M) Cause he's already been accepted and they visited today. And well, here-
Nick: dude
Nick: that rec center thing with the wieght rooms and stuff is free for students
Nick: omg!
Nick: paradise!
Nick: everything i'll ever need (aside from transportation) is right there on campus
Nick: im talkin the garden of eden
Nick: wow
Nick: that's awesome
Nick: i'll go to class, read in the library, go to class, eat at the delicious dining hall, go to class, bowl, go to class, work out
me: : )
me: too good to be true
Nick: lol
me: but it is
Nick: yeah
Nick: watch it be some sort of catch
Nick: like i got to sign off my soul to satan or something

Which made me wince. Because honestly. That's what I'm afraid of.
Like..I'm still afraid that he doesn't know how to handle himself. I'm afraid of drugs and alchohol. And falling in with bad people. Who curse. And won't respect his religious beliefs. And
Which is a small scary monster possibility that lives in my chest.
And you know. I love them. I love all of the kids who face that possibility. And it's not fair. And it makes me seriously consider Liberty.

But poor, ol' Nicholas. He's so darn excited. and he has to wait a million months till he can even go. He's so smart.
Like for real.

He's going to start college when he's 16.
All my talented fam.
dulce hermano...

I can't believe you. I can't believe you.
I miss you so much. You're so far away.
Becoming a different person without me.

We rarely see a different sky,
The stars remain, themselves, unchanged.
Yet they never cease to snatch the wand'ring eye,
And bring it back to gaze at them again.

New beauties lay within these ancient lights,
How interesting that we should find them now.
The glow on which we stared for endless nights,
Here shines strange shades of silver on our brow.

The natures of this earth all follow suit;
An oak, untouched, keeps fast from leaf to root.
But if, in it, we see a different tree,
Our senses, and our souls, grew more acute.

And so the sky is made our shattered looking glass.
The wood, a lens into our inner being.
And in our lives, all things that come to pass
Are found in how, and what we are perceiving.

What wonderfully wild and bold rolling supernova we become,
To see new wonders and old wonders a new.
The first made heaven and earth, and ours are one,
What God reveals in us, this world proves true.......

I miss you so much. Where did that even come from? I'm not ready for you to go. I'll never be ready.
I can't even. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I need you. I want things to go back to the way they were. If I could just be there with you for another day, another hour, I'd tell you the truth. I'd love you more. I'd weep more. I'm so sorry.
I miss you so much. Every part of me sick from learning how to live without you. Please. I don't understand.

I'm trying to work on this presidential portfolio thing. *makes gagging noises*

Lux hates me. Hardcore.
She doesn't really. but she might as well hate me. I'm going to try to write 4 different three paragraph essays on 4 different issues. If I can actually get that done today there'll be hope for me yet.

I was watching Phil Defranco the other day. (hilarious video blogger. www.phillyd.tv)
And he was talking about how we've just reached an all time high for soldier suicides.
I can't even.......people would rather kill themselves than go on fighting. This is why I know that someone like Barack Obama has to be president. All the fighting has to stop. I can't believe all these Christians believe in war.
HOW DO YOU BELIEVE IN WAR?

Jesus would rather I go in the place of all the Muslim casulties who wouldn't even be casualties if my government wasn't funding their death.
My parents pay taxes for that kind of thing!

I'm tired. And sick.
And I gotta start research.

Peace,
Emily